06.06.2011: An Emotional Rollercoaster - WTF?!?

So it's been a long time since I've blogged about anything - not that I haven't wanted to, just couldn't muster the motivation.  Anyway, after the emotional whirlwind I experienced tonight I figured it was better to get what I was feeling off my chest.

So I decided to stop for a movie tonight after work.  Everyone has been raving on and on about Bridesmaids, so I decided that it was high-time I went to see it.  And I was not disappointed - the movie was laugh-out-loud, roll-around-on-the-floor, brings-tears-to-your-eyes hilarious.  There weren't a lot of people in the theater (it was a Monday night after all), but we were all laughing hysterically - there were times I could barely sit still in my seat or stop from cry-laughing.  There was one scene in particular where I had to close my eyes/cover my ears because I thought I might get physically sick in the theater because of what was happening on the screen (for those in the know - the dress shopping after the sketchy Brazilian meal).  However, I was shocked at how sweet and poignant some of the scenes were - I really felt that the writers addressed situations that real women go through in their everyday lives with regards to the different friendships we all have & how they are always evolving (even when we don't want them to).  I actually teared up in a few scenes, as they made me think about my life.

I can honestly say that I definitely related to Kristen Wiig's character.  Granted, I'm not as goofy or neurotic as she is, but I can relate to that feeling of being stuck/in a rut and that everyone else's lives are moving forward.  I've honestly been feeling like that a lot lately and I know it's because of all the changes that are happening in the lives of my friends; don't get me wrong, I'm so happy for all of them, but I'm at the point in my life where I feel in need to shake things up & make a drastic change.  As it said in the Wilson Phillips song Hold On that closed out the film:  "no one can change your life except for you..."  Every once in a while, we all need a friend like Megan (played by the brilliant Melissa McCarthy) to come into our life and slap some sense into us - every once in a while, we ourselves need to be the ones to slap ourselves out of our own funk.

So I'm thinking about this all on the drive home from the theater and I'm listening to some easy listening station because there was a really good song on and then they start playing all these sappy, sad love songs and I begin to have a nice little cry.  Of course, now I look back and laugh at myself - but every once in a while it's good to have that emotional release.  Some songs are like a knife to the heart - they really bring that feeling on loneliness to the surface (which I usually try to ignore or disregard).  Don't get me wrong,  I have a very fulfilling life and a lot of great friends, but sometimes it's hard to shake that feeling of utter aloneness (especially when it seems like everyone around you is partnered up & your like the only single person in a sea of couples at a party).  However, I'm not without hope - a lot of my friends have met significant others later in life (so there's always that) but I've also got a great role model in my aunt who has remained single after her divorce many, many years ago and it hasn't stopped her from living the life she wants.  So like Kristen Wiig's character Annie, it's time to stop with the self-pity party and do something about it - which is why today I decided to apply for a position in Colorado within my company.  Sometimes a change of scenery can do a world of good - fingers crossed!

Even if that doesn't work out, at least I'm trying and I'm going to continue putting myself out there - whether it's for a new job, meeting new people, or trying something new.  We all have setbacks in life, but it's how we push through those difficult times that help define us.  And sometimes it's okay to lean on someone to help you get through those times (that's what friends and life coaches are for!).

Well this has really lightened the load on my chest!  I'll sleep much better tonight.  Peace out.